Accessories Not Included

I am back from my trip and very glad to be home. It’s always a comfort to return, even if a whole pile of chores awaits. Things were in pretty good shape when I got home. We hosted our neighborhood chili cook-off on Saturday, so John and his mom spent most of the week getting the house and yard ready for that party. They did a tremendous job. We have hosted the chili cook-off for three years now, and it is the motivation we need to get our yard and garage into shape. Otherwise, I’d probably never be able to park my car in the garage. We learned our lesson after the first year we hosted when our garage was such a disaster that we wouldn’t even open the door to let anyone in. It rained that year. And hailed.

The boys were happy to see me when I got home. They each gave me a relatively enthusiastic “Hi” before disappearing downstairs. John said that they had a great time while I was gone, and that everyone got along splendidly. Does this say something about my parenting, or are his expectations different than mine? The way I see it, they all band together to make it through the excruciating loneliness they feel when I’m gone. It really isn’t more fun when I’m gone. I’m sure of it. As promised, here is a picture of the boys with their pumpkins, and of John’s Rastafarian and crocodile from past years.

We will be busy for the next few days with Halloween stuff. We have school parades, school parties, and our annual Halloween party and Trick-Or-Treating. The boys have had their costumes for several weeks, and may not even feel like wearing them on the big night since they’ve had them on continuously since we bought them.

I don’t know how everyone else decides what they want to be for Halloween, but it in my male-dominated household (MDH), the decision is easy – Which costume has the best weapons? Looking through the nine hundred catalogs we received, the boys chose the costumes with the biggest, scariest, and most weapons. Never heard of the character before? Who cares? Didn’t you see the size of that sword?

The costume sellers have a real racket there. They put these pictures of kids in the catalogs with all of these awesome accessories, none of which are included with the costume. So, the kids see the picture, fall in love with the costume, and then you have to figure out how to pay for all of the accessories. We took out a second mortgage.

And how about those fake muscles? When did costumes start coming with built-in muscles? Like kids need any help feeling invincible. I feel obligated to keep reminding my children that the muscles are fake, and they really aren’t strong enough to battle evil minions, or to run at full speed into the wall and knock a huge hole in it. Well, that part they can do, but it usually involves broken bones and a trip to the hospital.

Ultimately, Luke went with the Blue Power Ranger and Jack went with black (or bad, as they call him) Spiderman. Unfortunately, our school parties don’t allow masks or weapons. Is there a boy costume out there that doesn’t come with a mask or a weapon? It doesn’t really seem fair. All of the ballerinas, mermaids, fairies, princesses, cheerleaders and brides will have complete costumes. The boys, however, will be maskless and de-accessorized. At least they get to wear the whole shebang while Trick-Or-Treating. And the nice thing about those full body costumes with all the accessories and masks? They won't have to wear coats that cover up their costumes! At least not where I live. Unless you’re a ballerina, mermaid, fairy, princess, cheerleader or bride.

I really wish they’d let John make their costumes for them. Check out the Steve Irwin (Crocodile Hunter) costume he made for a party we went to before we had kids. Yes – he made that crocodile eating his arm.

At the end of the night, all of the men boys at the party burned the crocodile in the bon-fire.

You can look back over my boys’ choices of costumes, and see their progression from cute and cuddly to weapons of mass destruction:

Have a safe and happy Halloween!