I'm thinking of suing McDonald's. This person did. So did she. And so did they. Never mind that the merits of my case are a little bit sketchy. I'm sure I can find a lawyer looking for a good class action suit that can come up with some good legalese for my perceived McDonald's-induced distress. Something like, "The Plaintiffs are bringing this suit against McDonald's as just cause for the undue influence over said Plaintiffs children and resulting non compos mentis on Plaintiffs' mental state." And why stop at McDonald's? Let's throw in Burger King while we're at it.
And what is the source of my grievance against McDonald's you ask? I'll tell you. It's the toys. And not so much that they give away toys to movies that my kids are too young to see. We still like to play with the toys, we buy the toys at the toy store, we have the Nintendo games, and will see the movies some day. This grievance, this level of stress as a mother that no one ever warns you about when you're pregnant, has to do with the seconds after you receive the kid’s meal from the drive-thru window but before you look into the bag to find what toys you've received with your meals. You feel the level of stress building and boiling in your brain, and know that an unwelcome outcome to the kid's meal toy procurement project can result in a backseat explosion.
There are two main scenarios that can happen for me in this situation:
1. We receive two new toys that neither of the boys have gotten yet – Yeah!
2. We receive two of the same toys that both of the boys have already gotten - Boo!
There are variations on those two main scenarios:
1. We receive two new toys that neither of the boys have gotten, but they are not the same. If they both want the same toy, how do you decide who gets what?
2. We receive one toy that is new and one that is not.
This is where that stress I spoke of rises exponentially, and a decision needs to be made. Do you become that mother that you said you’d never be? You know the one. She’s the one that goes back up to the counter to request a different toy, or sits at the drive-thru window while the toys get checked for approval so she can trade for a new toy if need be, while the growing line of drivers in cars behind her think of ways to creatively end her time at the drive-thru window - permanently. Or the one that spends $1.99 purchasing an extra toy to make a crying child happy, or to derail an impending tantrum when she just doesn’t have the time or energy to deal with it. (And, just to set the record straight, I’ve never done any of these things. I’ve just seen them done or heard them done. And, if you believe that, I have a 15 gallon storage container of rejected kid’s meal toys that I’d like to sell you.)
So, what do you think? Do I have a case?
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