Jack is working on a science project and we went to the library to checkout some books. My library card had expired in 2006. Really? Had it been that long since we had been to the library? That didn’t seem possible. The library is great! The library is fun!
It seemed possible to the boys, as they proclaimed, “We’ve never been to a real library before.” I felt obligated to explain to the astonished onlookers that my boys had head injuries and had no bloody idea what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks they were talking about.
Before I could even say Newbery Medal Winner , my reasons for not visiting the library since 2006 came crashing back to me. Literally. My two boys’ happiness at finally being taken to a real library by their mean, ogre of a mother converted to excitement which converted to boy testosterone which converted to a Mack truck on steroids. We promptly broke every library rule, and inspired the Library Police to add some new rules to the list.
No yelling – check
No running – check
No wrestling – check
No playing chase or tag – check
No crashing into the other library patrons – check
No playing tug of war with the books – check
No pulling every book about dinosaurs from the shelves and putting them in a secret place so no one else can ever find them - check
No crawling across the floor and roaring like a tiger – check
No coming back after we threw you out last time - check
No coming back after we throw you out this time - we'll see about that
Well, we got our books for the science project, but I don’t know that I would call it a successful trip to the library. I think from now on I’ll stick to Amazon.com, which was invented for mothers like me who can’t control their children in public places.