You don't know this now - though some day you will - but when we wrestle I let you win. I am bigger and stronger and faster than you. I could use all of these things to win our wrestling matches but I don't. Because I love you. Because I would never hurt you. Because I don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison.
Haven't you noticed that you always win our matches? Haven't you noticed that, just when it appears that I will get you in a spot from which there is no escape, you pull some miraculous stunt that causes me to surrender?
So the next time we are wrestling and I have you in a pseudo makeshift, made-up mommy mega-fourplex smack down and you feel you are about to surrender, know that any second the tables will turn in your favor and I will give up the ghost. There is no need to do this:
Biting will cause the game to be forfeited immediately. And I don't care what they do on the WWF shows that you watch with Aunt Nanny. Biting is definitely outlawed in our wrestling matches. And me calling the game over biting does not mean that I surrendered. No matter what you tell Daddy and Jack. Even though I would have surrendered the match eventually anyway.
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