I don’t know where the inspiration comes from, but my boys can come up with some pretty off the wall and totally unexpected questions. This usually happens at bedtime when I have barely enough working brain cells to remember where everyone sleeps, much less come up with a coherent answer to some of these tricky questions. Some of the questions are just hard to answer at any time of day. So, in the spirit of helping other parents, I have put together a few of the harder questions that I’ve had to answer with recommended responses in the event that you are faced with one of these questions.
Q: Why can I say “hell,” like “heaven and hell” but I can’t say, “What the hell?”
A: The same reason you can say _enis, like “I hurt my _enis” but not, “You look like a _enis.”
Q: When you first met daddy, he was a stranger right? Then how did you marry him if we’re not supposed to talk to strangers?
A: Beer is funny that way.
Q: Why does it matter how much something costs? Santa doesn’t have to buy anything. He makes whatever you ask for.
A: Well, the price of a barrel of crude oil has gone way up and Santa is working with a high overhead cost trying to keep his workshop heated so he has less money to spend on materials to make the things kids are asking for.
Q: How can Santa live so long and there never be anyone older than him?
A: He eats his vegetables.
Q: Are you speeding?
A: No, mommy never breaks the rules.
Q: Why didn’t dinosaurs eat Adam and Eve?
A: Oh, look, Spongebob is on.
And here I am.
2 hours ago