Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hard Questions to Answer

I don’t know where the inspiration comes from, but my boys can come up with some pretty off the wall and totally unexpected questions. This usually happens at bedtime when I have barely enough working brain cells to remember where everyone sleeps, much less come up with a coherent answer to some of these tricky questions. Some of the questions are just hard to answer at any time of day. So, in the spirit of helping other parents, I have put together a few of the harder questions that I’ve had to answer with recommended responses in the event that you are faced with one of these questions.

Q: Why can I say “hell,” like “heaven and hell” but I can’t say, “What the hell?”
A: The same reason you can say _enis, like “I hurt my _enis” but not, “You look like a _enis.”

Q: When you first met daddy, he was a stranger right? Then how did you marry him if we’re not supposed to talk to strangers?
A: Beer is funny that way.

Q: Why does it matter how much something costs? Santa doesn’t have to buy anything. He makes whatever you ask for.
A: Well, the price of a barrel of crude oil has gone way up and Santa is working with a high overhead cost trying to keep his workshop heated so he has less money to spend on materials to make the things kids are asking for.

Q: How can Santa live so long and there never be anyone older than him?
A: He eats his vegetables.

Q: Are you speeding?
A: No, mommy never breaks the rules.

Q: Why didn’t dinosaurs eat Adam and Eve?
A: Oh, look, Spongebob is on.

9 comments:

Loth said...

I love all of these answers. Especially "Beer is funny that way". So true. My older son, having been told off for saying "hell", now tends to exclaim "What the....?!!!" which is somehow worse but I can't tell him why (the reason of course being that I fill in the missing expletive in my head and it's way worse than hell!)

Angie said...

Don't tell them, "I don't know." It is a sign of weakness and the sharks will eat you while you are bleeding to death. My kids like to ask me hard questions in the car when they know I can't get away.

Susan said...

One of my favorite quotes is:
"Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed." ~Robert Gallagher

Love your answers!

Andrea said...

I LOVE your answers! Santa's got a high overhead. I like that.

I told my cousin that Santa figured out he could save a lot of time if he worked out a deal with Fisher Price, and that's why Santa brings Fisher Price toys (or insert namebrand of choice).

Kathy said...

My favorite is "Beer is funny that way" that one is hillarious! I can sympathize with you on the food and toys thing. My daughter can do that, she just usually refuses to eat period! HA ha Thanks for the laugh.

www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

utmomof5 said...

"...Spongebob is on" That is the best answer ever. I am stealing that and using it at my house.

LOL

Christina

Stacie said...

Great answers!

Anonymous said...

These are funny!
My kid once asked "What color are sneezes?"

Anonymous said...

omg, from a teens point of view, the "what the hell" thing is totally crazy. it's not like u guys do not say it all the time! plus it's a place! and saying heck is no better cuz it means the dame freekan thing! there another example "freekan".