Your 5 year old is in the bathroom, taking a particularly long time doing his business. You hear a lot of grunts and groans coming from him and ask if he is alright.
"I think I'm having a baby," he replies.
After stifling your laughs, how do you respond? Do you say:
A. "No you're not," and leave it at that? You wish! That answer only generates more questions like, "Do babies come out of your butt?"
B. "Boys don't have babies," and leave it at that? Wrong again! That answer only generates the statement, "How could babies fit out of your penis?"
C. "Girls have babies so you don't have to worry about it," and try to walk away? Nice try. That answer only produces fits of giggles and repeated chants of "Vaginas are down by China."
D. "That's a conversation for another day when it's not bedtime," and hope that's the end of it? What, are you new to this parenting thing? Once a nerve is exposed kids pounce on it like lions on an antelope after being fed salad for a week. There is no end to the uncomfortable conversations that go with parenting.
So, when did you tell your kids where babies come from?
Behold, The Unicorn Frappuccino
4 days ago