Friday, May 30, 2008

The Birds and the Bees

Your 5 year old is in the bathroom, taking a particularly long time doing his business. You hear a lot of grunts and groans coming from him and ask if he is alright.

"I think I'm having a baby," he replies.

After stifling your laughs, how do you respond? Do you say:

A. "No you're not," and leave it at that? You wish! That answer only generates more questions like, "Do babies come out of your butt?"

B. "Boys don't have babies," and leave it at that? Wrong again! That answer only generates the statement, "How could babies fit out of your penis?"

C. "Girls have babies so you don't have to worry about it," and try to walk away? Nice try. That answer only produces fits of giggles and repeated chants of "Vaginas are down by China."

D. "That's a conversation for another day when it's not bedtime," and hope that's the end of it? What, are you new to this parenting thing? Once a nerve is exposed kids pounce on it like lions on an antelope after being fed salad for a week. There is no end to the uncomfortable conversations that go with parenting.

So, when did you tell your kids where babies come from?

10 comments:

sonrie said...

You could explain how babies were born like this...but it might only lead to more confusion. :) http://tallcooldrinkofwater.blogspot.com/2008/01/how-was-i-born.html

sonrie said...

http://tallcooldrinkofwater.blogspot.com/
2008/01/how-was-i-born.html

mysecondjournal said...

Isn't "Go ask your father" an option?

It's going to be anyday now..I can tell.
My fault, he wanted to know why we couldn't rent Juno and why it wasn't rated PG..and I said cause they talk about Sex..OMG why did I open my yap and say the S word?

Momo Fali said...

It told my daughter when she was seven. Except I obviously didn't do a good job of it, because she had the impression that women peed their babies out.

utmomof5 said...

I like "Go ask your Dad!!"

louann said...

I haven't! And I'm dreading that day. What did you end up saying? =)

3boys247 said...

We always said "babies come from a special mommy place." But now that doesn't fly for the oldest, he is ten! We have tried to talk about it and he is mortified. We picked up a coule of books, he is bookish anyway. "Whats going on down there" and "A boys guide to becoming a teen." The books have helped open the lines of communication.

Good Luck.

Amy said...

Thankfully this hasn't come up yet! Best of luck!

HRH said...

Just turn on the Baby Story. That usually shuts 'em up for awhile...

mommymae said...

ok...did they say all of these or did you just come up with what they would say if they did get these answers? either way, it's freaking funny. my girls want to be there when the baby is born. i keep wondering if they could be at the hospital, but not in the room when baby comes out and come right in afterwards. but then we'd have to have another person there with them. we'll see what happens.