Do These Lyrics Come With Parental Warnings?

We've been playing a lot of Rock Band at our house since Christmas. I hate to admit it because I used to make fun of those people that I'd see in Best Buy with their fake guitars and pseudo-Rock Star moves pretending to play music and acting all cool when the song was over. The ridiculer has become the ridiculee.

Jack is always on guitar, unless he gets tired and lets his dad play, Luke is on drums though not lately because he beat the snot out of them the first week and they broke so we are awaiting the replacement set, and they can sometimes talk me into taking the mic. If our band scores high, we can unlock more songs.

I am no vocalist by any means, but I did get a score of 98% singing Celebrity Skin by Hole. I guess you could say Courtney Love is no vocalist either. I think I would have gotten 100% had I not had to choke over certain lyrics since I was singing them right next to my 7 year old. You know, the lyrics calling Cinderella a slut and talking about hooker waitresses. Not that he would have noticed. He was paying way too much attention to his guitar playing. That's one of the nice things about this game. If you are not singing the lyrics, you hardly notice them at all.

Which is why I hadn't noticed the lyrics to Cheap Trick's Surrender until John pointed them out to me. This has become Jack and Luke's favorite song. They want to hear it every time we get in the car (John downloaded it to his MP3 player-what a Dad!). They seem to only know the chorus, which talks about your mom and dad being a little weird. But if you listen, or read if your playing the game, closely, this is what you'll discover right from the get go:

Mother told me, yes she told me

I’d meet girls like you

She also told me to stay away

You’ll never know what you’ll catch

Just the other day I heard

Of soldiers' falling off

Some Indonesian junk that’s going around

Translation: nasty girl, STDs, penis’ falling off from Indonesian STD.

I'm waiting for the questions to start rolling in, either from the boys or from their friends' mothers.