1. Your State is severely flooded and you ask, "Has it been raining?"
2. Your kids stop referring to you as "mom" and start referring to you as "that sick lady."
3. You don't remember what food tastes like, you've lost 8 pounds in 6 days, and your husband refers to you as "the tiny person."
4. You characterize your illness in phases, and have made it up to Phase 7.
5. You are too weak to shower, but are forced to by the disgusting events of Phase 5.
6. Your house smells as bad as you do.
7. You are convinced there is no way you could possibly sleep another second, and then fall asleep in the middle of playing a board game.
8. Your kids aren't even tempted to wrestle with you when you're sprawled out on the floor.
Behold, The Unicorn Frappuccino
1 week ago