I wanted to take this moment to wish my BFF, Jill, a Happy Birthday on this very public forum. Jill has been my friend since elementary school. We've been through some crazy, wonderful and life altering experiences together. Our friendship has withstood time and distance. I just have one thing to say to my wonderful friend - You're still older than me!
In honor of Jill's birthday, I offer the following Saturday Laugh. Not that she's a hillbilly - she just comes across her fair share of them (Not you, Steve).
Two hillbillies walk into a Dairy Queen. While having a couple of Blizzards, they talk privately about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, eating a chicken sandwich, begins to cough. After a while, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, her eyes widen and she shakes her head no. The hillbilly strolls over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a long lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth and she begins to breathe again. The hillbilly ambles smugly back to his table. His buddy says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it."