This Means War

I understand now, as a parent, why my mom taught my sister and me how to play the card game War. She’d hand us a deck of cards and know that she’d have at least three days to do whatever she needed to do. That is how long it takes to complete a standard game of War.

Luke and I play with a pack of Shark cards we got in a Quizno’s kid's meal. The highest card value is seven. Even so, when your opponent kisses every card that he wins, and hugs and says goodbye to every card he loses, a game can drag on for centuries.

Good thing I am an excellent hand mucker and base dealer. I’ve mastered the art of the surprised loser.