I was looking at my son’s toenails today, amazed at how looonnnggg I had let them grow, and became convinced again that God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys. Would a girl ever let her toenails grow that long? No, she would not. They would be trimmed and painted a pretty pink color.
I am really not equipped to teach girls all the girly things that they would want to know. Just ask my life long friend, Jill, who had to teach me how to wear makeup in high school, and my first college roommate, Tricia, who tried to instill in me some sense of fashion. Don’t get me wrong – I spent a lot of time fixing my hair and picking out my clothes like any other teen girl. I just wasn’t very good at it. I would like to blame it all on the style of the ‘80s, but some of the blame has to be credited to my ungirlyness.
When I was pregnant for the second time and found out we were having another boy, I was disappointed for about a split second. Disappointment was quickly replaced by relief and joy. I told my mom, “I wouldn’t know how to dress a girl.” “I’d do it for you, sweetie.” And she would have. And she would have been very good at it. I, on the other hand, would have been bad at it and the poor girl would have ended up wearing her older brother's hand me downs and growing up with a severe gender confusion complex. I know this because, whenever I have the chance to buy girl clothes for friends that have given birth to girls, guess what I buy? Cute little clothes that look like something a boy would wear. I just can’t help myself! I find it impossible to buy little frilly dresses with tights. Those outfits just look so uncomfortable.
Here is more proof that I am unsuitable for raising girls:
My boys only own tennis shoes. We have no nice shoes to wear to church or on holidays or for any other occasion that calls for dressy shoes.
So the tennis shoes don’t look out of place, we have no dressy clothes.
Is hair pointing in 40 different directions in the morning? Put on a hat. It will be flat by lunch time.
Not smelly? Wash your hands and face and we’ll take a bath tomorrow.
Of course, all this means is that, had I had a girl, she would have turned out like me which isn’t such a bad thing. Or, she would have totally rebelled and I’d be up to my eyeballs in frilly dresses and tights.
Twelve is more than a Patti Smith album.
4 days ago