Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Toenail Epiphany

I was looking at my son’s toenails today, amazed at how looonnnggg I had let them grow, and became convinced again that God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys. Would a girl ever let her toenails grow that long? No, she would not. They would be trimmed and painted a pretty pink color.

I am really not equipped to teach girls all the girly things that they would want to know. Just ask my life long friend, Jill, who had to teach me how to wear makeup in high school, and my first college roommate, Tricia, who tried to instill in me some sense of fashion. Don’t get me wrong – I spent a lot of time fixing my hair and picking out my clothes like any other teen girl. I just wasn’t very good at it. I would like to blame it all on the style of the ‘80s, but some of the blame has to be credited to my ungirlyness.

When I was pregnant for the second time and found out we were having another boy, I was disappointed for about a split second. Disappointment was quickly replaced by relief and joy. I told my mom, “I wouldn’t know how to dress a girl.” “I’d do it for you, sweetie.” And she would have. And she would have been very good at it. I, on the other hand, would have been bad at it and the poor girl would have ended up wearing her older brother's hand me downs and growing up with a severe gender confusion complex. I know this because, whenever I have the chance to buy girl clothes for friends that have given birth to girls, guess what I buy? Cute little clothes that look like something a boy would wear. I just can’t help myself! I find it impossible to buy little frilly dresses with tights. Those outfits just look so uncomfortable.

Here is more proof that I am unsuitable for raising girls:

My boys only own tennis shoes. We have no nice shoes to wear to church or on holidays or for any other occasion that calls for dressy shoes.

So the tennis shoes don’t look out of place, we have no dressy clothes.

Is hair pointing in 40 different directions in the morning? Put on a hat. It will be flat by lunch time.

Not smelly? Wash your hands and face and we’ll take a bath tomorrow.

Of course, all this means is that, had I had a girl, she would have turned out like me which isn’t such a bad thing. Or, she would have totally rebelled and I’d be up to my eyeballs in frilly dresses and tights.

9 comments:

Angie said...

Those are the things that I keep telling myself, too, but, secretly... I still want a girl... shhhhh! Don't tell my boys.
KEEP BELIEVING

Kathy said...

I have a different problem, I have a girl who fights me every time I try to fix her hair or do anything "girly!" I wanted a girl so bad, but the only girly thing she allows is nail polish! I'm hoping that changes. And for the record, she has worn some of her brother's hand-me-downs, yellow and green go well on both, LOL!

www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

Susan said...

Have I mentioned that I think we're really twins, separated at birth? My boys are just like yours. I remember telling people that I was afraid to have a girl... what would I DO with one? (I was a tomboy myself as a child and was voted, "most likely to look like she just woke up" in college.)

I abhor frilly and who invented tights, anyway? Thankfully my daughter has simply worn the jeans and t-shirts she's been given. The jeans are girly - embroidered and flare-legged. But that's about the extent of it. Thank God.

Andrea said...

Are you telling me I'm not fit to raise a girl? Huh? Huh?

Because seriously, I don't buy frilly stuff. I have frilly stuff for her only because Nana, Grams, and all the other girly people out there are making sure we have that kind of stuff. Do I put it on her? Only to show her off. :)

Kellan said...

What a cute post! I loved, "So the tennis shoes don’t look out of place, we have no dressy clothes." - too funny! It is easier in a lot of ways with boys - I have 3 girls and one boy and he is easier.

Thanks Heather for your kind comment on my post today - you have been a good friend and I am honored to know you. I enjoy your writing and your stories and look forward to reading more and getting to know you even better. Thanks again and I will see you soon. Kellan

Damama T said...

MOTHERS OF BOYS UNITE! I wanted a girl so bad we "bought" one (adopted her) that was 11. Even though she's not the frilly Jilly type either, she IS different! Girls are harder to get along with (for me) and more spoiled (by Hubby) than the boys EVER were!

And I'm SO glad to hear someone else say, "Not smelly? Wash your hands and face and we’ll take a bath tomorrow." I thought it was only my dirty little secret. ;o) xoxo

Loth said...

Oh Heather, you constantly reassure me of my normality. Or at least reassure me that my particular brand of weird isn't as rare as I thought. There is not one sentence of that post that I could not have written ...wait, I don't mean I write your stuff.....I mean that everything you said is absolutely true of me too. I was secretly half-glad when my 9 year old son reverted to biting his fingernails - one less set of nails to clip and clean. Do you think he could bite toenails?........

Redneck Mommy said...

My daughter refuses to cut her toenails until I threaten to have her brother do it for her. She's got scary toes.

But I hear you. When I was pregnant with my second and third, I was RELIEVED to have boys.

I'm just not a frou frou mom. But then again, neither is my daughter.

Dragonstar said...

You mean you manage to get them to wash their faces?
I have 3 boys. I also have 2 girls. When they were little the first was as frilly as you could wish. The second ran everywhere with her hands in her pockets and had scars on her knees before she was two!
They are what they are.